Why the World Is Not Going To End On May 21, 2011

Just in case you failed to get the memo the world as we know it is coming to an end on Saturday, May21, 2011. Yup, you have read right!  That proclamation is being  preached by a Christian radioevangalist the same radioevangalist who had previously foretold  that the world was going to end September 1994.  Why didn’t the world come to an end in 1994 you ask?  Because the radio preacher said he did not do enough research.   But he has assured us that this time he has tweaked his research and May 21, 2011 it is!

NPR (loovvee All Things Considered) has picked up the story and for the last 2 weeks they have interviewed various “believers.”

One woman purchased a van and has made it her mission to travel the country warning of the world’s demise on the 21st.  When interviewed for NPR she was in the city of Brotherly Love shouting to the humble masses.  Next stop.  New York (that’s going to be a tough sell we New Yorkers are born skeptics).  Another believer has left his wife and son to literally “head to the hills.”  I guess the wife wasn’t ready to give up her job, home and Starbuck Venti No Foam Lattes.  Finally, one believer has proclaimed not only the date of May 21st for the end, but he has also predicted the time:  6p.m–a world-wide earthquake will rock the planet, according to the young adherent. 

As for me.  I will not pull any punches:  I am an unapologetic Non-Believer–for many reasons- based on my own spiritual and religious beliefs– my other reasons for not believing that on Saturday, May 21, 2011 the world in all of its many flaws (cruelty–child, animal and all other forms) and beauty(the Grand Canyon, Mt. Kilimanjaro and The Road to Hana)will not come to a crashing end are purely superficial, indulgent, self-serving and egotistical . . . . . . .

The world will not come to an end on 5/21/11 because The Recovering Attorney aka “a woman of a certain age” has yet to experience, see or do the following:

1.  I still have ten pounds of postpartum weight to lose (Precious Child II will be fourteen years old this summer, BTW)

2.  “They” have yet to find a “cure” for adult acne and gray hair

3.  I am still waiting for my personal space ship ( a la The Jetson)

4.  I Big Chopped my hair this past August and I’ve yet to celebrate my one year “coilyanniversary”

5.  Denzel is still married to Pauletta and not me (Mr. Recovering Attorney has allowed me this one unattainable fantasy–so I am good)!

6.   I have yet to dance on stage with Prince at Madison Square Garden

7.  Precious Children I & II have yet to learn the true value of money (Mr. Recovering Attorney’s fault–they are getting better–I can’t wait to see them carry a mortgage–or perhaps they won’t have to carry a note–gotta see this!)

8.  I have to fit back into my fierce 1983 black leather pants (please see #1)

9.  I have to see Justin Bieber, Willow Smith and Miley Cyrus age (gracefully I hope) AND I have to see if Beyonce is still 29 years old when I am 50!

10.  I have to witness Precious Children I & II become parents AND I have to hear them tell their children “no” just because they can

11.  I have yet to return to New York City to purchase my Striver’s Row or Mount Morris Park (formerly known as Marcus Garvey Park–I wonder why the name change??) Harlem brownstone

12.  Mr. Recovering Attorney and I have yet to celebrate our 50th Wedding Anniversary!

How about you?  For you, why can’t the world come to an end on May 21, 2011?

 DISCLAIMER:  The preceding post was written “tongue and cheek.”  Just my commentary.  I am still awaiting the arrival of the Easter Bunny, Santa Claus, the Tooth Fairy, the Boogey Man and . . . . . . . .

COPYRIGHT 2011.  The Recovering Attorney Un-Blog(tm).  All Rights Reserved.  And I will sue.  Ha!

 

 

 

 

 

 

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3 Responses to “Why the World Is Not Going To End On May 21, 2011”

  1. dont think that its a christian thing to beleive that tomorrows the end of the world. Most christians dont because revalation has a whole bunch of stuff that condridicts it. Also that guy isnt even a christian hes a calvinist which means he beleives that only some elect people can go to heaven weather there faithful or not only certain people will go to heaven. its absolutely ridiculous so dont think thats necessarily a christian beleif even though some beleive it

  2. Thanks for your insight, Matt. I don’t believe in this/his prediction for many reasons! Thanks for commenting and have a great Saturday, Sunday and beyond!

  3. MC Duncan Says:

    guys omg i found out somtin its not gonna end in 2012

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